Finally, I'm back to Malacca, the past 1 month of my life was like a dream, dream that I am not sure even if I should continue dreaming or wake up and slap myself right in the face. I spent almost a month in Pattaya, since I was assigned on a job delegation in Chonburi, Thailand and Pattaya was just closed by. I had heard stories about Pattaya and it almost always comes hand in hand with beach, parties, alcohol, ladies and finally sex and not forgetting to mention HIV which is closely nearby, which is kinda true and i had no intension at all to tell you other wise.
At first, I was pretty much excited on my job here as being in Pattaya was like striking a lottery among us colleagues, and of course I did enjoy my fair share of the high life and wonders of Pattaya. What I didn't know, that I was about to experience some life changing moments and insight into the heart and soul of the people in Pattaya. And for all I know, not only did it opens up my eyes but as well changes my thoughts for my life.
While we were all wasting our time pondering on the big question 'why are we here for?' or wondering over choices, getting frustrated over small little things. There are people out there who spend every single minute of their life fighting to survive. We all know that, I know that too, just that the impact wasn't so severe to me comparing to what I had encounter in Pattaya several weeks ago.
Pattaya is famous for its Go go bar, and inside the Go go bar, you see girls at the age of 18-20s stripping for money, dancing on a pole while horny, sexpats like me looking on from the side of a pool. Is like shopping, but instead of buying items, you're buying girls here. If you like, you can make a simple hand gesture to the waiter, let him/her know the number and the girls will come over to you, if you like, strike a deal with her pay a bar fine and the girl will follow you back to have sex with you.
And why are they doing that? For the fun? Crazy for sex? I don't think it would be fun to have sex with a sweaty, hairy old fucks who doesn't care about feelings, and who wants a blow job and hump his head off the roof. At the end of the day is all about Money, and money for what? Thailand has 68.9 million population and not everyone has an education, they live in the North, growing up without proper necessities. They came down for a reason, to look for better living, they know the job is bad, but no one would want them without education, they can't read, they can't work with computers, on last resort they go to the Go go bars. They work, they pay for their own education, to learn computers, to learn to speak english, some can even speak Japanese just so they can runaway from this life and get a descent job as a lobby receptionist. Some already have a day job, they have to work extra for their families, and their little siblings, and to think of it we the ones who have proper education can't even take care of our own parents are indeed a shameful bunch.
To think of it, I felt ashamed of myself as I had given up or wasted so many chances and opportunities in my life at the past, because I'm scared. Do you think scare still comes into play when you have nothing to eat? no clothing to wear, living under a broken roof? Of course, you're scare and it propels you to fight your life every single day. And we are lucky and fortunate to have grown up in a comfortable environment with everything provided, but that also made us weak, indecisive, with poor judgement and lack of compassion because we will never understand truly how people like them live and why are they like this. And I'm truly honest, and ashamed of myself, is a wake up call for me to live my life being compassionate and not waste my time on this earth being afraid of choices and challenges, because for them, there's no such time for to ponder, because every minute counts, every single minute can help them to earn a little more and lessen the burden in life.
For them I pray for a better life in the future, I respect them truly from the bottom of my heart, and because of them I want to lead a meaningful life, to be compassionate about others and to work hard for my life. I no longer see them as a sexual object and truly respect who they are inside and hoping that life can be better for them and truly understand that life can not be equal to everyone but we can always extend our help to others.