Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Downside of Chinese New Year

Correct me if I am wrong.. I couldn't quite understand why is there a need to make up a big feast during Chinese New year, when clearly food, drinks and nearly everything have gone up in prices? Fish especially during such season, is extremely rare and highly demanded, and poultry. We ate that quite often right? Do you need a special reason to eat such things? 

I could understand that during the good old days, people, mostly farmers, labors had work hard for the whole year and they seldom have the chance to table up meat, fish and may be even chicken for them is extremely rare. So that's the only one time in the year that they get to eat food like this. But now, our life is clearly more comfortable now.. we could enjoy food like this every now and then.. or anytime we want if we could pay for it, until a certain level I think is kind of a waste.. to cook up so many foods during Chinese New Year that could clearly feed a whole farm of pigs! 

Ok you might, say things like sea cucumber, abalone, shark fins are rare to be eaten during the normal days, but seriously do you need that?? you still live without those things right? Further more those were freaking expensive stuffs.. Sea cucumber??? come on.. I barely even like that slimy stuffs.. and the cleaning process, prep work before cooking is tedious and time consuming. Abalone? come on... you should eat that during the normal days definitely.. is cheaper.. so why bother paying extra to eat during the new year? Does it taste better? or it burns a fucking hole at your pocket?Wouldn't it be better to donate the money for charity.. for old folks, or orphans that couldn't get to celebrate new year, give them warmth or something. Do something good at the beginning of the year. 

Is a pain in the ass.. when someone go through all the tedious work to cook up a feast for a bunch of morons.. especially some idiotic, overly pampered children, spoil brats who not only choosy.. but a bunch of scumbag.. they are more willing to eat up a fucking hamburger than to take a spoon of rice.. they might be flipping over your dishes.. playing tantrum on the table.. refuse to take the vege. Yes and dear readers I am talking about my young ones, and if you're one of them you're pretty fuck up as well! This are the bunch of kids that should get a slap straight at the face! Worst still when the parents are just sitting beside and letting them do all they want and not even as a courtesy to speak a word or sound their children. Sad... sad... no wonder their children are talking back to them at such young age. 

So you might think.. ok la.. since so ma fan, might as well go to the restaurant. Worst! You get mob there! So what are the price for a decent family dinner let say during the Chinese New Year eve? 200?300? wrong! Definitely not lower than that, most probably they would charge you something like 688,888,1288... and they serve you shit! 

Common sense.. what are the odds that the fishermen are out fishing on chinese new year's eve or during chinese new year??? what are the odds fishmonger wanted to sell fish at the market during chinese new year? What are the odds, wholesaler for vegetables work during chinese new year? You wanna work? Definitely they don't want either! So restaurant will most probably stock up in advance! not one or two days definitely weeks or may be months depend on what kind of items, they freeze it, kept it... and let's say probably one or two weeks prior to the new year's eve dinner they took it out, de-froze and start doing their prep work. Some are cooked much earlier and they packed it! in plastic bag, and throw into the freezer to keep it, when it comes to New Year's eve, they would take it throw it on the fire and heat it up... put in extra MSG.. salt broth and you got SERVED! 

The fun part is when, someone slurping, eating, biting, licking, tasting and claiming how good it is.. how delicious, yummy, the best! What a joke! Big fat lie! You should know why it is so good, is never always nearly about the real produce.. most probably the sauce and the taste..Is never fresh! When you get a fish during CNY and say that it is fresh.. then most probably you're a joke, trust me the cook might be laughing at you as well, cracking to his mate saying you know that asshole outside??? the rich brat?? hahaha he is paying RM 300 for a rotten fish and saying it is fresh... what a joke... you know the fish is fresh.. when it is properly steam with only a little touch of salt for taste and some ginger or may be not even ginger.. and it doesn't smell that's good fish.. that's fresh fish.. You barely taste it like that in restaurant, most probably not during chinese new year.. what you get is a beautiful looking piece of fish.. heavily flavored, with lots MSG.. or most probably deep fried and you dare say is nice and fresh.. you must be freaking out of your mind!

If you're thinking they will give you fresh cook food.. you're the most innocent person I ever seen.. how do you think they served 50 60 tables a night.. Try cooking everything prep everything the last minute.. impossible! Why is your food out so quickly? clearly something is done way before.. you better pray hard is not your fish.. your sea cucumber, your shark fin soup. How do I know all this shit? I know because I been there, the kitchen of a restaurant, I seen with my own eyes, is better not to see it sometimes, you won't want to eat it anymore after that. 

Hence, why waste that money, you clearly have to spent 10 times more during the normal days and you get crappy food.. most probably MacDonalds, KFC or Pizza taste better during that time. 

Then what? Chinese New Year no need to eat ar? Holiday K! I don't wanna cook! Then you, my friend are a fucking piece of shit! I never asked you to cook those big feast.. just do it like what you do usually.. cook the normal, the simple, the things that satisfied you, fried some egg. cook up some vege, make a soup then cook some rice! or steamboat.. buy a fucking chicken.. use the bone to cook up some broth, buy some ready made  fish balls, meat balls, vege this and that and ask them to fucking dunk it inside shut up eat and don't complain! That's it! that's what you need! If you wanna make it taste like restaurant, drop lots of MSG, make a broth earlier on.. Or if you're damn lazy.. just go order some fucking pizza, kfc and McDonalds, no trouble cooking, you can sit down and talk and watch tv and lazy around. If you need to pray to your ancestor, just tell them the menu has changed this year.. offer them KFC, most probably they like it, you might get some revelation in your dream, asking you to serve more next year. 

So easy meh... you might say! Is never easy! but if you never start.. it will never be easy your whole life.. and you will ended up doing all the unnecessary every year.  

Friday, January 21, 2011

The System

I am pretty amazed with myself sometimes, amazed of how powerful my mind is, amazed with my imagination and the thinking ability to come out with so many stuffs in that split of miliseconds... not that it is anything particular good that will contribute to the world, solving global warming and ended with Nobel prize in my hand and me on stage thanking my parents and everybody. Mostly my mind produce nonsense stuffs... something that amuses me.. something that could cheer me up or crack me up like nobody business suddenly... to turn or ease a situation from worst to mild.. and finally to nothing... I called it the 'System' this system I am grateful of, kept me alive at least till this very day when I can sit down in my room, chilling and writing nonsense on my blog. 

It reminds me of the moment I spent with my supervisor doing the 'serious stuffs', constructive, research sort of like doing the world a big favor, looking into alternative energy sources. But.. serious stuffs is really boring sometimes, and my Middle Eastern supervisor/Associate Professor is the no-nonsense type, with strong  middle eastern accent , "eccsecuz me. eccsecuz me boy.. listen to me please...", and he basically compliment everything with one word "beautiful" that's it, whatever you do.. whatever it is.. he will say "beautiful" with his palm facing you with a slight pushing gesture, and sometimes when he speaks.. My mind drifted off somewhere and not listening to a single word from him, most probably I am thinking of what to eat later after the meeting heh... which I found myself to be quite efficient in, there were also times when I looked him straight in the eyes but blank out totally.. and as he speaks.. with his mustache and beard he kinda looks like Mr.Potato and that crack me up a little, not that I dare to laugh in front of him, I literally had to bite my tongue and pretended to cough to get rid of my giggling.. yea I know.. I am an asshole. But what can I do? haha my mind is like a freaking power house, constantly projecting image linking unrelated stuffs.. that links to another and another and another...

The system works on me again today.. you know is kind of pain in the ass to sit through long hour bus from North to South.. is dreadful and painstakingly long... I took a bus back to Malacca today, obviously from Ipoh there weren't many passengers heading towards Malacca, so the bus make a few stops at Gopeng, Kuala Lumpur, Seremban then Malacca, so I am actually quite well prepared for that long journey and had my book with me to read. Is amazing how much you can accomplish with that long bus ride, I can finish a whole half of a fucking thick book, but I wasn't quite prepared for the ambiance of the bus later on.. I boarded the bus, look for my seat number, sat down on the left where all the single seats are, took out my book and started reading, picking up where I left the night before... 

A lady boarded as well, wearing some tight hot pants, blouse with holes like a lot of holes.. wearing a dark color inner wear, just thin enough to wrap up her boobs, exposing her tummy, thin.. and most probably in mid 30s.. she smile at me, so for I smile back as courtesy and pointed her that the numbers are written at the side wall of the bus as she was searching high and low for it... I thought she looks like a hooker that's what I thought, but anyhow that didn't bother me much as I continue reading my books, she found her seat which is exactly beside mine and sat down near the inner seat next to the window. Little that I know that she would contribute to my not so pleasant journey later on...

A fat Malay lady boarded after awhile, and gosh she's fat.. big mama kind of fat... she sat down and the chair is making the 'fuck off this is unbearable' sound.. she let down back rest and go full down max, boom! fuck me.. my leg was trap between the chair and my bad underneath.. and my knees hurt as it knocks directly onto it.. There goes my long hour journey back home..I didn't dare to confront her.. she looked fierce.. her chubby face made her looked like a bulldog except there's no drooling and she wasn't panting with her tongue sticking out. (system's working) 

The bus took off 30 minutes late, as two passenger were late, and partly the bus company was hoping to buy time to look for some extra customer to fill in the empty seats.. yea they are always like that.. never once on time, however the driver will always make up the lost time by driving faster on the highway later on.. which contributes to the death toll. Anyhow the two passenger, a mother and son combo were picked up at Gopeng toll later on, they seemed to catch up with us. They boarded the bus.. the son should be in his teens..chubby.. with a gay looking school bad on his back.. the mom came on board, typical aunt style.. annoying.. bitchy.. the kind which nags a lot, which later act of hers proven my first impression of her. Her son fill up the seat beside the hooker and the mom took the one behind his. 

And still.. I am trapped in my seat.. and the big mama were sleeping soundly and making loud noises, I thought she chocked herself halfway through when the weird noises started coming up halfway through the journey, may be her airways trapped! Damn you big Mama, damn you! 

Not too long after the journey, a phone rang with Justin Bieber's 'Baby' as ringtone.. I can't describe to you how much I hated this song.. starting from new and fresh-gay-really gay-annoying-fucking hate it.. I am now at the fucking hate it stage. The hooker picked up the call, 'Hello!!! Cibai!.. Ren Jia Sui Jiao Ni Da Lai Zhe Mo!) ( Hello!! Pussy!... Why must you call when people are sleeping!), I was ear spiked up a little when she started speaking, I was reading my book but the 'Cibai' from her really caught my attention. I was thinking wow that's a first after taking bus for countless of times...but heck her voice was coarse.. and the boy sitting beside didn't hear it as he was on his Ipod, loud music on I guess, but I swear anybody else was staring right at her.. she continues yapping loudly on the phone... starting the sentence with males/females genitals and ending with them as well... Is getting pretty annoying by then.. she was loud.. and I thought she's quarreling with the boy friend or something, one more word from her I told myself I am gonna turn over and give her to "Shhhh...hand gesture!" She stops.. finally.. whew which is a big relief for me.. as I swear I don't dare to tell her to keep quiet.. my mind was imagining things like she look over at me giving me the finger and say "up yours! you dick! Watcha looking at huh?! mother never teach?! Didja eyes fucking blind?!" and then she punch me at the groin.. Ouch! that would have hurt! (the system working_)

I continue reading.. the boy sitting beside me was sweating.. what on earth.. is a fucking air conditioned bus.. and I didn't even open my vent I felt cold.. how can you be possibly sweating, I checked on him. I scan him quickly and saw his head tilted to the side for a quick second and tilt back.. once in awhile he turns.. like a freaking security camera.. but somehow.. the vision wasn't quite right. Oh.. fuck. he was checking out the hooker's boobs.. I chuckles.. awesome just awesome no wonder he was sweating.. nervous.. body warm, blood gushing from his mind down to the body to fuel up that extended 'tentacle' of his. He was pressing his bag hard on his lap.. no longer concentrate on his thinking, he tried to open up the vent, but he couldn't quite do it.. as that would require him to stretch up and most probably exposed his boner, anyway he did it, one hand holding his bag pressing against his lap and stretched up to open the vent.. he did it awkwardly.. I found it amusing.. damn this was fun..

I still trapped in my seat thou... I don't dare to drink any I don't want to struggle with my bladder later on, not being able to adjust myself or go to the toilet... I managed to relief myself when the bus stopped somewhere in KL for refuel, and switches seat to the back.. all I know was my legs are numb, if the big mama didn't reposition his seat.. any longer I would be going to the ER where my legs would be chop off. I think the boy went down to the toilet to get himself relief too.. not to piss may be some other forms of relief.. some forms that requires you to work yourself and burn off some extra calories and being him doing it awkwardly in the toilet rushing.. partly afraid the bus will go off without him and people lining up outside the toilet and found no Kleenex and Wypall after he is done (system working again). The journey was tiring.. long painful.. the hooker never stop talking thou after KL.. calls continue to come in.. again and again with the stupid Justin Bieber song... I managed to sleep somehow..tiredness started kicking in.. and I dozed off.. I only awakes when the bus stops in Malacca Sentral. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

As I Was Told

I went online and checked the history/come about of 年糕 (pronounce: Nian Gao), a must have delicacy during Chinese New Year that are made from sticky rice or glutinous rice. However, it was a big let down after I read through the whole 'Nian Gao' history thingy, as none of what I read match with what I was told by my mother. 

Is kind of funny, even thou it doesn't match a single shit of what I was told, I still very much love and will continue to remember the one my mom told me, if anyone were to asked me about the history, I will tell them the same old same old story that how I mother had told me, unless there's a gun pointing at my groin asking me to spell out the True?? (how sure?? no one knows) version. Is nicer, better and it makes more sense to me at least to a 5 year old me.

" Ma ar... why is it so important to have 'Nian Gao' during Chinese New Year??" 5 year old jming asked...

"Owh... well... boi ar, you know har.. every end of the year, the God that handles each and every house hold, will go back to heaven to report our good or bad to the Jade Emperor, and how you will live your new year will be based on your merits in the past, so our fucking ( not by my mom I added myself) wise ancestor who did so much bad things in the previous year was drawing up a plan to first bribe the God and second to keep His/Her mouth shut! Hence, 'Nian Gao' was invented, it was made extremely sweet and of course extremely sticky, so the very glutton God will be attracted by 'Nian Gao' sweetness and grab a bite and has His/Her mouth glue together so He/She can't utter a word bad about your family when doing his report..." 

And dear readers the 5 year old me actually bought it.. I actually believe there's such thing as a report card for the heavenly Gods to check at the end of the year... and when I did something bad back then, I wrote down in my innocent mind " ps: remind mom to fucking ( again this was me now) offer more Nian Gao to the God next year!!" Not sure I am innocent back then.. most probably I already possessed great potential of being a screw up like now. 

Time past.. after many many tropical weather of years, I don't bought that shit excuse any longer, in fact I became some sort of an Atheist I would say, not the obvious kind, but I choose to believe what I want to believe, yeah I know, I am that screw up. I still pray to my ancestor, but I am doing it more like a chore just for pleasing the elders, holding the jaw sticks with nothing in mind, swinging my hands in a continuous up and down motion and that's it... in fact I started questioning things.. 'is this necessary???", " why do you need to go through all the trouble just to do this shit?!" Furious, arrogant, the dark age of being a fuck up kid.. trying to show that he was the smartest piece of ass in the whole wide world.... I was damn skeptical on things like religion, vegetarian (I still don't believe in this crap, yea is your choice but don't fucking try to convert me), traditions etc.. I was living in my own world.. comfortable enough at least for me

And again don't know how many years had passed, I started to accept things.. may be I grew up a little or may be I am just plain lazy to be that asshole who question every single shits especially talk back to the elder..I became more concern of the wants and needs of my parents..I notice they grew older everyday.. somehow I felt inside me a strong urge to be a responsible son than being the asshole that are stubborn as a donkey back then... 

Friday, January 14, 2011

Beef Noodles @ Ipoh Old Town

I need to answer a call... a call from my stomach or may be my appetite, that are crying out loud, desperate for something good and tasty.... 
What the fuck is wrong with me man, I said to myself... get your fucking head straight, stop thinking about food you idiot! 
But I can't, everywhere I go.. I think about food, the more I am in closed doors, the more I stuck in this miserable fuck up place surrounded by forests, deserted tin mining field that are now a fucking big lake but the water surface is still, unmoved, ever so quiet and depressing, even the birds look skinny, so does the cats, stray dogs around this area...they are all desperate for foods, holiday no ones here, the canteen is closed and so does there usual supply of bones and unwanted foods from the wasteful and asshole students ( referring the fuck up asshole who stole my kettle)....
I sat down inside the room alone, and then it started raining outside, not too heavy, drizzling a little then stop for awhile and it continues again.. the whole fucking day... which causes the temperature to drop and makes me hunger for warm broth... 
That's it! I can stand no more.. I told myself to get out of this shit hole the next morning, first to satisfied my lust for food, second to get to the station and buy the earliest bus ticket to get out of this shit place the following day and go back to my warm, comfortable home in Malacca. 
I slept through the kept appearing in my mind.. never really sleep thou..kept turning around, switching sides, get up drank some water and continue sleeping again.. have no idea by when, I started dreaming about warm, fragrant beef noodles... right in front of me.. for a moment, I thought that was an epiphany.. true realization of what I need..
Fuck this shit.. I woke up at the break of dawn.. brushed my teeth hurriedly.. bathed.. tidied myself.. and scrambling out the school and heading north towards the quiet peaceful town of Ipoh... 
I decided to answer my 'epiphany', I headed to old town and there it was.. hot steams coming out from shop selling beef noodles! Awesome! Banzai!!! De Maravilla~
The shop was full with people, working men and women, old retired people, school boys or girls, getting their most important meal of the day.. you know you're at the right place, there must be something special going on inside, everyone slurping the noodles continuously.. without stopping.. 
I made my way in and ordered in Cantonese.. that's when I realized how fuck up my Cantonese is.. when the old Tauke (boss) seems a little annoyed by my lousy Cantonese, wrong tone, different slang.. ahh fuck it! Just gimme some fucking noodles already.. I found a place and I sat down quietly and waited... one bowl passed by.. two bowl passed by.. three bowl passed by.. four bowl passed by... I am starting to get a little impatient, and I was shaking my leg furiously under the table... 
The a voice came and broke me from my thoughts.."Leng Chai.. yam meh?" an old lady asked, "Errr... Kopi Shittt la Em Koi" Yea I say shitttt... my lips are dried.. so does my throat..that fucked up my pronunciation a little.. 
The coffee came and it calm me down a little bit..saw someone selling newspaper from far, so I raise my hand and signaled him over.. good! now I had both newspaper and coffee.. that should helped.... 
After like 1 million bowls had passed me ( yea that's how I felt) finally that steamy..warm soup of beef balls.. noodles came to Papa. Who's your daddy huh.. I spooned the beef broth and sipped.. the broth worm down through my throat... ahhhhh~ that's the stuff!! Satisfied.. like a fucking horny horse that just cum and NEIGHING (click that to listen to real sound). 

Little did I realize that lady that sent over the soup still standing beside the table and waiting to collect the money.. "Leng Chai.. Sei Kao Lok!!" with a stern voice.. that's fucking embarrassing man.. so I paid her apologetically.. however that did not bother me much.. as I now had more serious stuff to focus with.. 

I am done with the soup, I turned my attention over to the noodles.. Ok I made a mistake, is called Hor Fun....I realized there aren't any beef on my Hor Fun.. I flipped it over..with my chopstick.. back and fourth.. None!Fuck! I turn around and peep at other peoples table.. they all have! but I don't! That's the time when my dream of eating a piece of tender cook beef shattered into pieces.. it broke my heart.. seriously broke my heart.. I cry a little inside.. Anyhow, I guess she won't be free to entertain me anymore.. so I just go along with it and enjoy my noodless.. hey.. at least I still got the beef balls inside my soup, that's still freaking tasty.. slurp slurp.. a mouth of hor fun.. a mouth of soup.. take a bite on the beef ball..ahhhhhh it makes you feel like dancing.. put your hands in the air and say Ayo.. baby let's go. 

Right at that moment.. life is meaningful again.. I see rainbow when I walked out the shop even thou was fucking cloudy out there and was even raining a little..So dear readers.. that's how a simple meal helped set my fuck up mind straight!! 

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

As I Know It

Was awaken by my mom early in the morning, still half asleep, eyes were partially closed, never felt so attached to my bed before and I didn't even want to move even an inch. I guess I am trying to avoid, trying so hard to avoid noticing that Chinese New Year is coming soon, another year had past, getting older and everything... blerrrrrr I hate that! But it seems that people around me, things around me never fail in making me realize the fact of Chinese New Year... 

Like I had mentioned before, as I grew older, I have become more afraid about festive seasons ever.. especially Chinese New Year.. of course from the outlook it seems like a pretty nice festive season where people get together, smile on their face, cheerful, all saying good stuffs, presenting gifts to each other, celebrating the new year together with nice food and drinks. On the other side of that, the amount of preparations, stock and pile up of raw materials so that everyone can enjoy nice Chinese New Year dishes.. the major cleaning of the house.. to throw away the old and bring in the new.. to prepare cookies and new year's rice cake..the slightest thought of that is what I would say.. fucking unbearable. 

While most of us think it was fun when it comes to Chinese New Year was mainly because we aren't doing all the fucking works.. is the grown ups that are doing it.. but heck even some grown ups don't do it nowadays.. they are fucking lazy...we are all fucking lazy.. as we grow up, especially when you started working and all you wanted to have was a nice long holiday to not do anything and worry about any shit at all. 

So why do I have to wake up early??? Is the time of the year again, whereby we will go to the temple and pray.. when it comes to the end of the year in the Lunar Calender, before embracing the new one, our family tradition was to attend the temple ceremony, pray for a better luck, smooth sailing, happier, wealthier year. I am not the most fanatical person when it comes to such matters, but neither do I hate it, I guess that makes me a neutral. It happens all this while.. every year we had been doing the same old same old, nothing special about it.. but this time for me is a little different, how different? I sort of see it as a dying tradition where sooner or later people like me, or more people like me will no longer be doing stuffs like this. Not sure if is really gonna happen, but chances are high. Hence, I am taking this chance to take down some pictures.. trying to observe things more carefully compare to last time and hopefully I can make a good piece for my blog. 

How many of us here can truly spell out each and every traditions on Chinese New Year??? We had different Chinese dialect group, some having totally different set of ways in doing things, worst still when we became modernize we let go of certain things and start making things simpler and simpler.. is good of course.. making the life simpler for everybody.. but I felt is good to have some memories of how things were done in the past, to cherish the wisdom of the old folks. Of course the way we handle things are definitely different in certain ways.. hence what I am putting is merely how it is done at least in my family. 

Arriving at the temple, we are handed with paper made bowl with yellow papers in it, with our family names written on it. All this were prepared before hand by the temple's handler. We then arranged the handkerchief that were brought on our own, and stack it together accordingly into the paper bowl, arranged according to families. Not necessary to be handkerchief, it can be a shirt, an underwear ( this I not sure but I am guessing it will do just fine) that you can wear on the first day of new year. We only use handkerchief because it makes it easier for us. Imagine you're from a family of 10 or more, and you're carrying shirt for everyone, you will be begging for mercy later on as you will need to carry those for long period of time. 

What's with the coin you asked? Ha.. well when you walk around the inside of the temple, there's this big revolving vase with cloud and dragon design on it, where people throw in some coins when the walk pass it.. I am not sure why they did it, may be is for donation purposes but I doubt so, if that's true, they must really hate me as all I throw was 1 cents as it was given to me by my aunt. 

People walking in circle from following the handler from start until he finish chanting. Walking bare footed, holding a jaw stick in your hand.. thanks god the weather was fine, windy and chilling. 


So after the prayer was done, there's a piece of white paper with drawings of despicable person ‘小人’ xiao ren in mandarin, in each and every paper bowl that we were holding. What we did after that was basically using the jaw sticks to burn holes on those despicable person in those drawing, for example people in your life that creates trouble for you, talk bad about you, those that did bad stuffs.. haha somehow I felt I don't qualify for doing such work as I am pretty badass myself as well, Neh.. whatever.. I did it anyway. 

As thou poking them with burn jaw stick isn't enough, you have to hit them with slippers as well after that. Called 'Da Xiao Ren' in mandarin 打小人.  And hopefully people like that won't come bother you in the new year. 

And along with the yellow paper, which sort of like our yearly report card, we  then burn it, and hopefully Jade Emperor above will receive it well and give everyone an A when new year comes. 

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Oh No! Not Another Wedding Lunch/Dinner Again

I woke up today feeling sick.. as I knew there's a lunch to attend for the newly wed couple. Not that I am not happy for the couple that just got married and hopefully god willing they will be together forever, I just hated the lunch later on. How many of you, truthfully admit that you like attending wedding lunch/dinner? Those that are hoping to hit on someone on weddings ok you are excluded from answering this question, those that loves restaurant food much and can't help to taste the shark fin soup, ok you may excluded from answering this as well. 

Knowing that I will be entering the hall not knowing more than half of the person inside, and some even thou I know them but aren't quite familiar, and worst, there aren't any people that are around your age.. awesome... fucking awesome... I fucking hate it! My mind were playing tricks on me even before attending the lunch, thinking what kind of awkward environment it will be sitting with people you don't know, and mere headache of having to talk with certain people about things that you don't even fucking care, and of course, putting smile the whole long dreadful journey as the elder will come by asking the same old same old question to you, " when finish study?? Got girlfriend already?? I hope I can live till the day you got marry." etc etc.. Is starting to get from the level of annoying to very very disturbing. haha 

And then.. there's the kids either too young that they are running around, creating havoc and disturbing the peace and quiet of mind, and there are those around the age of adolescence either to fuck up nowadays, having no manners at all or too nerdy to even speak a word. Good lord... something is really wrong somewhere. And of course, worst because you don't fit into any group.. definitely can't play with the kids.. err why? fuck is childish.. and errr because I grew hair yea.. and like a lot down there... and definitely fucking hate those youngster that are quite fuck up.. I admit i am kinda fuck up too in certain ways.. which is why I found myself dangling not fitting in at any group at any level at all.. 

For living more than 20 years now, and attended more weddings then I could remember, experience thought me that food during weddings aren't actually nice. The quality of the food drops slightly or more when they come to preparing it in mass or bulk.. yea ain't no rocket science here, is quite logic to why it will be like that. 
The food either came out cold, too salty, too plain or not nice at all, and I usually just put it in my mouth, chew  it without any thoughts, shove it down my stomach with some chinese tea, and hopefully it baked well in my stomach and come out smoothly the next morning. The problem with certain chinese is that, they are too confined within their tradition, there is a certain must have food on the table, and basically I believe most of us can memorize and spell out each course that will be coming out, what's next, what's later.. it lack of a certain.. degreee of mystery and sense of fun anymore.. and worst still, every course is so big and you make your stomach suffer for nothing, and if you don't eat at all you make yourself look like a piece of shit at the table. 

So usually half way through the lunch, I bring my hands together and pray.. in my mind.. god please... no more dishes after this... serve the dessert fast...I so fucking wanna get out of here! 

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The New Year's Eve

While most of us are sitting back doing a review or grading ourself how we do in year 2010, I... were lying on my bed, never felt so sick ever. As thou I had drank like no tomorrow the day before and woke up with a serious hangover. Never felt so fuck up before, especially on such occasion where you need to be awesome instead of feeling fuck up. 

And on a day like this... is pretty easy to spot the singles among the wide pool of couples. To say the least, singles are attracted to singles on such special occasion as they don't wanna join the couples to celebrate a new year, feeling sad, lonely and pitiful. For those, who aren't joining the friends or having a partner to share the day with, but spending the days with their parents or siblings, either you're really filial or you have serious fuck up issues to be sorted out haha and sadly, I am the one spending it with my parents, well the initial thought was that ' come on, how bad can it be.. I am gonna have some quality times with my family' yea right.. quality my ass... first it was the traffic in Melaka, is just so fuck up... then Jusco.. seriously? I will be more than willing to stay home at watch some TV, I am more than willing to trade those old folks show than going to Jusco. 

The moment I walk in... is omfg time. You see bunch of kids, running around, some following their parents... big families shopping for schooling products or taking the advantage of the holidays and sales to purchase some new year's clothing, is damn noisy, crampy and of course feeling weird to be there.Without me notice, I am trying to look for people around my own age.. are they here? Are they as fuck up like me too... no! none, as thou I am the only one in that age level. 

So, where does all the people of my age gone to??? Well, most probably the couples are waiting somewhere counting down the time, and when the clock strike 0.00 am, they would most probably having their first kiss in the new year, or may be fuck for the first time in 2011 or... threesome, or foursome...While for the singles.. is pretty much a routine, they gather around.. alcohol is a must.. then most probably some food. Among the group, you most probably have some recently single, some single all the long even thou they fuck up with long list of girls, some recently 'in a relationship' but keeping it a secret as they aren't sure when to announce it or they just feel is better to keep it that way, and you have some of those who single for their whole live but wanting very much.. desperate to get a girl. Is a very strange but yet fun combination. By now I believe, you would have guessed I ditched my parents after Jusco and joined the singles group and hangout to past my new year, basically shoving down alcohol into my stomach, fuck up my nervous system... and basically talk cock with my fellow single friends. 

I am not saying that is bad.. spending time with families, or friends, or patners... After so many years, I can only conclude that.. on a day like this, what you want is to be in a group or doing something that makes you happy or makes you feel worthwhile. If you aren't comfortable.. then screw it.. find somewhere else to go or to do. And guys that's how I spent my new years eve. 

Happy new year peeps!